


Moonlight Shines On Me

by LOONAGround



Category: LOONA (Korea Band), loona - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F, Loona - Freeform, Multi, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23337883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LOONAGround/pseuds/LOONAGround
Summary: Kim Jungeon, also known as her artist name Kim Lip, is a famous painter in the city. After her wife died in a fire accident, she became a single parent. Never had she expected that raising a kid would be that difficult. As years passed by after her partner died, her obligation as a mother is failing. She wanted to change, that's the truth. But how can she do that when she didn't move on from the past? How can she give love to her daughter when her love for herself is decreasing? Maybe, what she needed was closure. She wanted to forget everything. But how? That's what she's been asking for years now, especially when she blamed herself for what happened in the accident the took her lover's life.Moonlight Shines on Me
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Kim Jiwoo | Chuu/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 9
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is LOONAGround! Just turned ORBIT this year influenced by 'So What.' After that, I became a semi-die hard LOONA fan. This will be my first LOONA fanfiction aside from my AU in my twitter account. WARNING: This is a LipSoul fanfiction. LipSoul is an OTP composed of two members: Kim Lip and Jinsoul. They are LOONA members. If you hated them, I advised not to continue reading this story. On the contrary, if you're here because you like them, I hope you'll enjoy your time reading this
> 
> NOTE: All the places, characters, and scenes from this story are purely fictional.

**_Note: All the places, characters, and scenes are purely fictional._ **

If it wasn't because of the small stone in the middle of the street, or if it wasn't because of the heat of the sun overhead her, if it wasn't because of the crumbling sound of her stomach, Kim Lip could be found dead at this very moment.

She was carrying her last batch of paintings on hand and her stomach was voicing her hunger. She slightly punched it with her fist to ease it for a bit longer. She's almost there. Don’t get her wrong, she has money to buy food. She wanted to finish everything today. Not tomorrow, not next week. So, work now, eat later.

She got annoyed by the heat, punching her stomach lightly when she blindly stepped on the stone in the middle of the street, causing her to stumble on the concrete. She cursed under her breath. It’s obvious, as a mother and as an artist preparing for an exhibit, there are indeed a million things running through her head. But does it need for her to stumble on the floor just to wake up? Like, literally _wake up?_

A loud horn from someone's car cut her thoughts drastically. Kim Lip's vision was still blurry because of panic but somehow she saw a figure, who she quickly concluded, was the one who horns the car. " _What the fuck are you doing!?"_ Said the man. "If you want to die, just jump off a building!" Then he sprinted away from the scene as nothing happened.

Kim Lip's breathing is starting to block. This is usual, especially when she’s stressed. But today, it's a different story. She realized that she almost died, almost hit by the car, but luckily she was still breathing. The stone that she thought was unlucky of her, brought her to earth instead of hell. "Calm down, calm down." She whispered to herself, grasping her chest, punching it lightly for every second or two, stabilizing her rhythm of breathing. She pulled herself, as well as her paintings, to the pavement beside the street.

"Kim Lip!" A voice behind her. "What happened?" Her best friend, Jiwoo, rushed in her direction, helped her to stand up. Jiwoo offered a hand to her best friend to lean on but Kim Lip, on the other hand, was still out of this world. She was still stuck at that _moment_ where she was almost hit by the car. That miraculous moment deserves praise. Kim Lip thought. Jiwoo pats Kim Lip’s pants to take off the dust from her clothes. Jiwoo took another look from her best friend, head to toe. "Are you okay?" Jiwoo asked.

Kim Lip shook her head to set the things inside her mind aside. "Yes," her voice was tiny. She then quickly stands, carrying the painting from the cold concrete. "Is everything already settled inside?" Kim Lip added. Jiwoo pauses, frowned. Her best friend walked past her, ignoring the fact that Jiwoo was concerned about her.

Jiwoo wasn't surprised that Kim Lip prioritized what's best for her exhibit, which will happen next month, even after she almost died today. All Jiwoo could do at this moment is to sigh heavily.

Jiwoo witnessed how her best friend changed over the past five years. This isn't how it is supposed to happen, this shouldn't be the route Kim Lip took, but Jiwoo knows that it takes a lot of effort and time to accept a bad past. It takes a lot of acceptance to allow yourself to move on. She always prays that one day Kim Lip will accept the fact that she has nothing to do with the accident, that it wasn’t her fault at all.

Kim Lip turned her head, looking at Jiwoo, waiting for her answer. Jiwoo noticed it so she quickly said, "Yeah. Everything is there as you planned." Jiwoo ran a hand through her hair then followed Kim Lip inside the building.

Kim Jungeun, also known as her artist name Kim Lip, is one of the famous painters in the city. Many people love her works since it's out of this world. Mostly, she makes abstract arts or paintings with deeper meaning. Some well-known celebrities ask Kim Lip to repaint their expensive bags. Kim Lip is a perfectionist, a meticulous person. And with that being said, her works are too.

Kim Lip was just one of those normal people who's chasing their dream. She wanted to be a painter when she was younger. However, she was forced once to take another path. Her father is a politician. He wanted her to take law so she could follow his steps as a politician one day. But before she could enroll herself in law school, clearly the worst decision, she met this _person._ Her name is _Jinsoul._

She met _Jinsoul_ when she was in her senior year. The two of them are like cats and dogs, forever have different perspectives in life, opposite opinions towards their study, yet later on, Kim Lip realized that meeting _Jinsoul_ was a blessing in disguise. When Kim Lip started to get to know her, she learned the spirit of ‘follow your dreams no matter what.’ _Jinsoul_ isn’t rich like her but _she_ can still give anything to other people. Every time _she_ fails, she can still smile. She needed to skip school for two years due to financial issues but she didn’t blame anyone for that, not herself, not her parents. Instead, she understood the situation. It was all her parents could provide at the moment.

 _Jinsoul_ is a smart person. She loves to join competitions, school or out of school. She loves to debate as she wants the people to hear her voice. She was born to be a leader. She’s in love with math. Actually, she graduated in college with straight A’s in mathematics. But that isn’t just the reason why Kim Lip fell in love with her. It’s her compassion for helping people and her passion for her work. She also took good care of Kim Lip. She wasn’t just a good partner but also a good mother to their child. She was Kim Lip’s wife. _Was._ Unfortunately, she died five years ago.

Kim Lip turned on the lights as she entered the premises. The light quickly spreads, enlightening the venue of her choice for the exhibit. She looks around, checking if she set her canvases in the right places. As she remembered, the batch she's carrying is the last batch before calling it a day. But her meticulous eyes quickly notice the space in the corner right portion of the building.

"Jiwoo?" She called with a little annoyance in her tone. "I thought everything is here? Why is that part empty?" Kim Lip pointed out the location for Jiwoo to look at.

"Oh?" Jiwoo walked across the room to where the empty wall is. She raises her hand in the air, in front of it, and sways it lightly. "This is where the featured painting will be placed."

"I wasn't informed that it's invisible" Kim Lip bites. Jiwoo bit her lower lip. She knows Kim Lip too well that her sarcasm wouldn't hurt Jiwoo anymore but patience. _Patience, Jiwoo_. She whispered to herself.

"Unfortunately," Jiwoo quickly added before Kim Lip could say more. "I already called the charity earlier this morning to ask about the painting. They told me that it's still unfinished and the earliest day they could deliver it will be in three days."

Kim Lip holds an exhibit twice a year. This is her third year and the second exhibit for this year. Half of the profit she'll get from her exhibit will be donated to the charity of her choice. In exchange, the charity will provide her a painting to be featured in her exhibit. Regardless of whether it was made by a professional or a direct member of the charity. As long as it carries the name of the charity. This year, they have the _'Moonlight Shines'_ charity, the house for blind children.

"What? How come—" Kim Lip asked, still annoyed.

"Jungeun." Jiwoo suddenly called. Jiwoo always thought that calling Kim Lip by her real name helps her best friend to calm down. That’s how she does it for the past years.

On the contrary, Kim Lip cringes as Jiwoo mentions the name. She didn't cringe because she doesn't want Jiwoo to call her by her real name, she cringes because it only gives salt to her obvious wound. Her former wife, _Jinsoul,_ always calls her Jungeun. She liked it when _Jinsoul_ called her that. ‘ _Liked.’_ After the sudden accident happened five years ago that took _Jinsoul's_ life, she wanted to bury that name to the unknown and never remember it again. Like she wasn’t even created at all.

Jiwoo added. "Have you forgotten that we have a blind artist this time?" Jiwoo walks towards her. "You should consider the difficulty. Plus, you gave them short notice." What she means by that is that Kim Lip changes her mind on choosing the charity. She chose ‘ _Moonlight Shines’_ almost in the last hour. Truth to be told, she finally decided to donate at _'Moonlight Shines'_ last two weeks. Which clearly pressured the charity for the given time.

Jiwoo witnessed the drastic changes in her best friend after _Jinsoul_ died. _Jinsoul_ was a great, kind and very down to earth individual. When Jiwoo met _Jinsoul,_ she was funny, mostly corny, baby in front of Kim Lip. But the only person who can handle Kim Lip when she breaks down is _Jinsoul_ herself. Kim Lip is the opposite. Unorganized, short-tempered, and undecided. In short, a dependent individual. Not to mention that it only took Jiwoo and _Jinsoul_ ten minutes of unending conversation about Kim Lip to be best friends.

Kim Lip quickly nodded, admitted she was wrong. She already knew her fault before the delivery of Jiwoo's sentence had even finished. She completely forgot about the fact that they have a blind artist this time. "I'm sorry and thanks for reminding me." She smiled guiltily to her best friend. She shouldn't nag at Jiwoo as Jiwoo was one of the people who stood with her through thick and thin. Jiwoo noticed how stressed her friend is. "Where should I put this, by the way?" Kim Lip raised the last painting in front of her. Jiwoo quickly pointed out the part of the wall where the painting will be displayed.

 _Are you okay?_ Those are the words Jiwoo wanted to ask. But she knows deep inside that it won't make a change. If _Jinsoul_ would still be alive, everything might still be okay. Everything might still be in a good place. Her best friend might still be able to smile. She thought.

"Jiwoo," Kim Lip's sudden call made Jiwoo jump slightly from her position. "Can I ask you a favor?" Kim Lip continued, looking at Jiwoo over her shoulder as she was carefully putting the painting to its location. "Can you rent me a car?"

"What kind of a car and where are you planning to go?"

"Just a simple car with four wheels?" Kim Lip said sarcastically, a smirk raised in the corner of her lips. Jiwoo frowns and that made Kim Lips chuckled. "A pickup car will do. I will personally take the painting from the _Moonlight Shines_. Wanna come with me?"

A wide smile was painted on Jiwoo’s lips. _Another trip!_ She thought. "Absolutely!" Before Kim Lip could answer her, a phone suddenly rang. She familiarized the tone. It's her phone.

Kim Lip frowns, asking herself what's the alarm for. She was stepping down from the ladder when a hint suddenly flashes to her mind. _You've gotta be kidding me._ "What date is it today?"

"23rd," Jiwoo replied.

"Oh, my God!" Adrenaline quickly rushes through Kim Lip when she finally realizes what day is today. _Wake up, Kim Lip!_ Her mind shouted at her. As she stepped down from the ladder in a speedy manner, her left foot got stuck from the last stair. She almost tripped but Jiwoo was quicker to respond and swiftly caught her into her arms.

"Careful."

"Choerry!" Kim Lip called out of nowhere. She envelopes her arm to Jiwoo's neck to help herself stand.

"Choerry's at school," Jiwoo answered.

"No. I-I mean, it's her play today." When Kim Lip finally stood up, frustration drew on her face. How dare she forget an important day for her daughter?

Kim Lip is starting to question herself now. When does she plan to change? She has been a single parent since five years ago. But even though five years have already passed, she’s still a failed one. Worry and annoyance ran through Kim Lip's face when she realized that the play already started thirty minutes ago. She also saw Heejin's messages on her notification bar. Heejin, Choerry's homeroom teacher, bombarded her with 'where the hell are you?' texts. She quickly grabbed her coat then requested Jiwoo to check everything before closing the place. Jiwoo immediately responded with her signature bubbly baby smile that shows all her teeth, reassuring Kim Lip that she will do what she was told.

A groan escapes from the mother's mouth before entering her car. She sprints the car straight away to her daughter's school.

*****

Kim Lip jumps from her car then practically runs towards the door of the auditorium. But she immediately stopped in the middle of the hallway when she saw her daughter sitting in the corner of the chairs alone, with a lowered head, playing with her feet, holding her large props from side to side. _She's late! Damnit! The play had obviously ended._

Kim Lip takes a deep breath with close eyes before approaching her daughter. Nothing could break Kim Lip's heart than to see her daughter with a saddened face. And what's worse is to know that she was the reason for it.

"Choerry—" She called, but before she could finish her sentence, Choerry suddenly stood up, walking away with her large props in her hands, not meeting her mother's eyes. Kim Lip pressed her mouth into a thin line to prevent the tears from falling. Again. She hates herself for doing this to her daughter.

Choerry is already ten years old, a 4th grader, but she still needs Kim Lip's assistance in terms of socializing and studying as she has autism. She has difficulty communicating with people. She only depends on people's facial expressions to know what they feel. She sometimes whispers the words she hears meters away from her or a quote from a movie. But on the contrary to all the negative things a person could say about autism, Choerry was gifted with high intelligence and acute hearing. The first thing she spoke up isn't a word but a sentence, and she was only eight months old at that time. One of Choerry's doctors, Yeojin, told Kim Lip and _Jinsoul_ that Choerry does belong to 0.001% of children who are able to speak up at a very young age. And not just that, Choerry is different from them all. Those children spoke their first _word_ yet Choerry spoke a _sentence._

Kim Lip quickly followed her daughter behind. "Choerry!" She called again. But the 4th grader only covered her ears with her hands, despite the struggle of carrying those large props.

"Too loud!" Choerry shouted all of a sudden. She repeated it a few times before shutting up. Kim Lip takes this action to keep quiet and just walk beside her daughter. It was her fault, to begin with. She could never forgive herself for forgetting this important day.

A figure appeared in the gates. As they walk closer and closer to it, Kim Lip familiarizes the person. It was Heejin. The teacher smiles at them when they were a few meters away.

"I'm late, I forgot." Kim Lip mouthed to Heejin. The teacher just made a disappointed expression to Kim Lip.

"Are you going home now, Choerry?" The teacher asked nicely, in Choerry's favorite manner. Because of Choerry's condition, each person should raise their tone at every end of their sentence for Choerry to recognize it as a question. Heejin, alongside _Jinsoul,_ discovered this communication style of the girl for the first time when Choerry was three years old. They had difficulty in communicating with Choerry when she was a kid, so Heejin and _Jinsoul_ searches and invented a lot of ways to communicate with her. It took them almost three months to discover this communication style.

Heejin is a family friend. She was one of the officers in the debate team alongside _Jinsoul_ in college. She isn’t that close with _Jinsoul_ at college. She knew _Jinsoul_ as competitive, preserved and an intellectual individual. She was scared of _Jinsoul_ when she first joined the debate team. But as time goes by, she learns that _Jinsoul_ just keeps her circle small. After Heejin became Choerry’s homeroom teacher, she became one of the circles of friends. Aside from Kim Lip and Jiwoo, Heejin is one of the people who witness Choerry's growth.

"Yeah," Choerry answered flatly. Before any of the adults could say anything, Choerry quickly added something that left Heejin and her mother in surprise. "I'm late. I forgot," says Choerry. That was what Kim Lip mouthed to Heejin on their way to the gate.

Heejin, once again, left awed by Choerry. The young girl might have autism but she's special. She patted Choerry's head before the student entered their car. Kim Lip closes the door.

Heejin checks Choerry, and when she is sure that the student was already busy watching a video on her phone, she speaks up. "How come you forget the play?” Heejin leaned her back to the car. “She waited for this moment to show you. She never stops sharing to me how excited she was. She expected you. Really. She practiced months for this." Heejin doesn't want to meddle but as one of the people who witness the ups and downs of this family, she practically became Choerry's second mother. Her concern for Choerry is undeniable. She's disappointed to see that Kim Lip forgot this day though Choerry worked so hard for this. How come a mother forgot a special day for her daughter?

"There is no excuse for this.” Kim Lip replied. “I forgot everything until my phone rings." The mother's eyes shut close, disappointed in herself too. "I failed as a mother again."

"No! Oh, no no no." Heejin quickly shakes her hands in front of Kim Lip. A pang of guilt suddenly rushes through her after Kim Lip mentioned that she failed as a mother again. "I didn't mean it that way, Jungeun. I know you are busy with so many things. But I hope this won't happen again." Heejin added. "Please don't be so hard on yourself. _Jinsoul_ will hate me if I let you do that."

Sadness immediately ran on Kim Lip's face by the mention of the name of her ex-lover. "I wish she's here to hate me." Kim Lip muttered under her breath. If only _Jinsoul was still_ alive, everything might still be okay. "We need to go before we miss dinner again." She added flatly. She didn’t wait for Heejin’s response as she walked towards the driver’s seat. She obviously wanted to escape from this conversation.

Heejin nodded, understood what the mother was trying to deliver with her action. She taps Kim Lip’s shoulder from the driver seat before saying goodbye to Choerry. "Bye, Choerry."

"Bye-bye, teacher Heejin." The student greeted without looking at her. Heejin smiled at the sight she's seeing. She loves the kid like it was her own. Then she turned to see Kim Lip locking her seatbelt. "Drive safely, Kim Jungeun." She advised.

"Copy, Jeon Heejin. Over." Kim Lip answered playfully. She smiled at the teacher.

"Copy, Jeon Heejin. Over." Choerry copied, shouted. Again, without looking at their eyes. Kim Lip took a last glance to her daughter from the rearview mirror before nodding to Heejin as her goodbye. The teacher closes the door and they immediately drive home.

*****

**NOTE:** Hi, everyone! Thank you so much for taking your time in reading this. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope everyone is safe in their homes. To all the affected citizens, I'll pray for your health. Let's fight this disease! Have a nice day, everyone! PS. Your thoughts will be much appreciated! 


	2. Chapter 2

_ Jungeun heard crack noises from the door as it opened. She quickly raised her head, seeing Jinsoul across her, who’s closing the door silently. Jinsoul thought her family was already asleep.  _

_ Jinsoul wasn’t aware there was someone waiting for her across the room as the area was pitch dark. Jinsoul walked, tiptoed, towards their spiral stairs when someone suddenly turned on the lamp from the side table, causing Jinsoul to curse under her breath. “Jesus Christ! You almost kill me, Jungeun!” Jinsoul inhaled deeply to collect herself. When her heartbeats calmed down, she formed a smile. “Hi,” she greeted, whispering. “Why are you still awake?”  _

_ Jungeun didn’t answer her. Her wife was just staring silently at her eyes. Jungeun is sitting on the sofa, arms crossed over her chest, legs crossed as well. Jinsoul slightly felt scared when frustrations slowly crept on Jungeun’s face. “You’re late.” The shorter woman finally spoke. _

_ “Yeah,” Jinsoul scratched her head. “We had to finish the preparations for the vegetables and fruits orders next week. There were tons of orders from companies. We needed to wrap up everything before the holidays.” She explained. Jinsoul owns a company that produces vegetables and fruits. Growing in the countryside, Jinsoul learned to produce the basic essentials from her parents. She made a business through her parents’ landscape. From a simple and small company, it’s becoming huge now. That only means the orders from the buyers are massive. _

_ Jungeun shut her eyes momentarily. The taller woman didn’t understand clearly what Jungeun was trying to say. So, she repeats, “You’re late.”  _

_ Jinsoul frowned. “Yeah, I just…” She tilted her head, trying to decipher everything. She just explained why she was late but why does Jungeun— “Oh, my God,” she whispers, covering her mouth with her hands. It hits her now. Panic is slowly rushing through her. Oh, my God. She thought.  _

_ “You remember it now?” Jungeun spats sarcastically. It’s Choerry’s recognition day and Jinsoul was supposed to be there with them. She promised her family that she’ll leave work early for this event. She promised. But that isn’t the main concern Jungeun wanted to say. Jinsoul knows that. The look from her wife’’s eyes told her so. She should be there because it’s her obligation and responsibility as Choerry’s mother.  _

_ “I…” She pauses. Jinsoul couldn’t find the right words to say. She knows Jungeun was already annoyed and disappointed. She doesn’t want to make things worse than it already is. “I totally forgot—” _

_ “You always forgot!” Jungeun bats, accidentally raised her voice an octave higher. “That’s the problem with you. You always forgot.” Jungeun stands, walking across Jinsoul, who is still covering her mouth with her hands. “If you don’t forget, it’s either you’re late. It’s always been like that since when? Two or three years ago? Last Christmas, last family outing, last Choerry’s school days. When are you going to change? When do you plan to learn to change?” Jungeun grasped her fist, stopping the rush of punching her wife’s shoulder. She felt the burning sensation to her face, to her cheeks.  _

_ Jinsoul saw a glimpse of Jungeun’s arms. It’s shaking. It’s shaking because she’s mad. And what breaks Jinsoul’s heart more is knowing that she’s the reason for her wife’s sudden storm.  _

_ Jinsoul’s vision is blurry now because of her tears. She couldn’t take Jungeun getting hurt or mad. She wanted to reach for her wife but her hands felt like heavy bricks.  _

_ She failed again. She thought.  _

_ “I didn’t sign up for this, Jinsoul.” Jungeun muttered in a serious tone, turning away. She bites her lower lip to prevent the noise from escaping from her mouth. When Jungeun saw the expression from Jinsoul’s face, tears were coming out.  _

_ Jinsoul grasped her hands harder and harder until her knuckles turned white. The tears from her eyes are flowing so badly that she could feel the drops to her collarbones. And Jungeun heard it. She heard Jinsoul’s cries. But she didn’t look back. If this was Jinsoul’s first time in committing a mistake, she may forgive her wife. But Jinsoul made it so many times that she lost counts now. And yet, she did it again today.  _

_ Jungeun walks away, avoiding the taller woman as she didn't want Jinsoul to see her wet eyes and cheeks. She’s mad, that’s the truth. She’s so mad that she could throw a thing or two somewhere. But she doesn’t know why she’s standing there and crying silently instead. "I am so tired, Jinsoul.” She admitted quietly. “I have to drive Choerry to school every morning, run the business after that. When I come home, I need to cook dinner for us, or for Choerry as you are late most of the time.” She brushes her hair using her hand. She inhaled deeply. “We’re married, Jinsoul. We already have a child too. But why do I feel like I’m alone most of the time? Why do I feel like I’m raising this family all by myself? Your absence is so significant now that I couldn’t care less. But today, I have had enough. If only I knew this would be my situation now, I wish I didn’t marry you in the first place.” _

_ Jinsoul’s eyes wide opened as her mind processed the words. Jungeun’s latter sentence stabbed her heart like sharp knives, breaking it into a million pieces. The words keep ringing and ringing in her head as she watches Jungeun walking upstairs, leaving her behind. No more words, just deafening silence.  _

_ When Jinsoul heard the door closed from their bedroom, she fell on her knees. Her knees suddenly felt like noodles, losing its strength. Her lips were trembling so bad that she couldn’t stop them anymore. Her tears are causing rivers on the floor. She slowly brings her shaken and unstable hands around her head, completely caging her face. And as if on cue, Jinsoul’s sobs loudly. She couldn’t take the pain anymore. She needed to take them out. And she didn’t control herself this time.  _

_ She doesn’t know if it’s the stress from work, or the latter words of Jungeun, or just the fact that she is a complete failure. She failed as a mother and as a partner. She failed again and again and again. She never learned.  _

_ She was too busy to notice that her family now is loosening the grip with her, the thing she never wishes to happen. She thought working hard to support Choerry was okay, yet, it’s asking her for an exchange. A heavier trade than she ever imagined. _

_ Her silent cries turned loud sobs. Her tears are dropping against the floor. Her body was moving up and down as she sobs.  _

_ Since the day she became Jungeun’s friend, who later became her girlfriend, she promised to herself that she will protect Jungeun at all cost. The moment she saw the brightness on Jungeun’s smiles, she promised to give her the best of the worlds regardless of the consequences. When she opened the door of Jungeun’s heart, she promised to guard it with her. She’ll hold the key to it if need be. When she married Jungeun, she promised to hold her wife’s hands for better or for worse and to never look at others. When Choerry came out of this world, she promised to become the best mother for their daughter. And yet, here she is, bending down on the floor, feeling worthless, crying like a child.  _

_ She broke her promise to protect her wife at all costs. She brought darkness on Jungeun instead of sunshine, causing Jungeun to close the door in her heart now. Worst is if she locks it. The key that she’s supposed to hold is now meaningless. She failed to bring the best from all worlds. Jungeun is letting go of Jinsoul’s hand which Jinsoul promised to hold forever. She was way too focused on her work when she’s supposed to focus on her family. That includes her duty as Choerry’s mother. She failed again and again and again. How could she forgive herself from these mistakes? She never learned. _

_ Jinsoul, once again, cries so loud against the floor. Her voice is now hoarse. _

**“Jinsoul!”**

Kim Lip screamed so loud that it echoed through her room. She’s sitting on her bed, gasping for air.  _ It’s a dream. _ She thought loudly. She quickly grabbed the bottled water from the side table and drank it all up in one go. Bringing water in her room became her tradition after Jinsoul died. Her peaceful nights were limited because of these dreams. Or was it nightmares?

When her heartbeats were settling normally, she lay her back down to her bed flatly and put an arm to cover her sight. That’s when she realized she’s sweating. The bits of sweats are falling on her temples. 

This isn’t the first time that she woke up from a dream in the middle of the night. This became her routine since five years ago that it became normal to her now. She wanted to see a therapist that could help her but she’s way too confident this will pass. Five years later, she’s still having it. Kim Lip throws the comforter to her side and decides to stand up from the bed. She can’t sleep anyway so what’s the use of closing her eyes.

As she made it to the living room, she saw the wall clock that says 3:15 AM. It’s still early. She still has hours left before she prepares breakfast and brings Choerry to the school. And yet she found herself standing in the veranda, welcoming the cold breeze of the air outside. 

The stars are glowing above her. That beautiful sight immediately brought Jinsoul to her. Her wife loves stargazing. She remembered the time where they escaped from the party just to watch the stars from a beach. The sounds of waves, the brushing of the air against their ears, the wet and cold sand under their hips, her head leaning on the crook of Jinsoul’s neck, their hands that hold each other, just simply bloom Kim Lip’s heart a million times. If she will choose between a fancy dinner date and  _ that,  _ she will never hesitate to choose that. Jinsoul helped her realize that a simple date could become fancy. Watching a movie together on the couch with no words escaping from their mouth is okay and is normal. The comforting silence when she’s with Jinsoul made Kim Lip learn the true meaning of quality time. 

Kim Lip sniffled. Her cheeks are wet again because of her tears. She wished her wife was still alive so they could redo their dates again. She wished that she could hold her, embrace her, so she could feel Jinsoul’s warmth again.  _ She wished. _

The silence that she once thought was comforting, is now disturbing as it brings her again to the day she lost her beloved wife.

_ "Do you have any other concerns?" Jungeun asked the panel. As the CEO of a multinational technology company, she needs to clear everything before dismissing everyone in the meeting. They are on the stage of testing and upgrading their new models before releasing them to the country. _

_ "No other question, Miss President." Someone from her left answered. _

_ She nodded, collecting the papers from her table. “You’re dismissed now.” She finally announced. The people were slowly and silently exiting the conference room until Jungeun was left alone. _

_ A lot of her employees were surprised to see that their jolly and funny President became silent now. No senses of humor escaped from her mouth, no smiles. It’s new for them and yet, they’re scared to ask what’s the problem. They never thought of crossing the line. _

_ Jungeun leaned her back to the chair, covering her sight. Jinsoul’s loud cries yesterday night are still ringing in her head. She remembered at the time she heard it, she wanted to run towards her wife and ask for forgiveness. But instead, she found herself crying inside their room, silently and alone. It hurts her seeing and hearing Jinsoul like that. But if that’s the only way for Jinsoul to learn, she’ll do that. _

_ She expected Jinsoul was sleeping next to her the next morning, but the other side of the bed was empty. When she’s getting down from their spiral staircase, she expected Jinsoul to be in the kitchen, cooking something as she welcomes Jungeun, but the kitchen was clear. There were only plates of food on the table. Jungeun was expecting a note, a simple note along the food, and yet there was nothing. She takes this as a sign that Jinsoul is giving her space. Jinsoul always does that since they dated. Jinsoul always makes sure Jungeun’s storm settles to normal before speaking to her about their problems.  _

_ But Jungeun somehow wanted the opposite today.  _

_ She later found out that Jinsoul was already in their office when she woke up. A coworker of Jinsoul told Jungeun over the phone. Jinsoul was already inside her office when the coworker entered their building. Jinsoul also filed a week of leave after they settled all of the orders for this month. Jungeun smiled. At least her wife is making progress.  _

_Jungeun noticed the door of the conference room swung open. She saw Vivi, her secretary, walking silently towards her direction._ _Jungeun quickly raised her hand, gesturing to Vivi to stop whatever she wanted to say. She doesn’t want to hear it. She’s not in the mood now._

_ “You can go home now,” Jungeun demanded instead. It’s already late though. “Don’t wait for me.” Jungeun now exited the room, leaving Vivi in the corner. She checks her phone as she enters her office. But there was no text coming from Jinsoul tonight. She groaned.  _

_ Jungeun, for the first time in forever, asked her father to take care of Choerry today. Today is Jinsoul’s delivery deadline. She already told Jungeun she’ll be late tonight weeks prior. Jungeun, on the other side, couldn’t watch Choerry today as well as she has a lot of business meetings today. She just finished one, but she still has two more before calling it a day. Even if she doesn’t want to ask her father deep inside her, she swallowed all her pride because no one can watch Choerry. She asked Jiwoo but today is her deadline for submissions too. Jiwoo doesn’t want to look bad to her bosses, which is one of those is Jungeun herself. She left with no one but her father, who gladly accepted the duty even if this was the first time they contacted each other since the day before their marriage. _

_ It annoys Jungeun not to receive a text from her wife. She knows the other woman may be busy but a single ‘I’m sorry’ is enough. She thought. That’s all she asked for. Jungeun throws herself to the sofa in front of her massive table. This day is so long and tiring for her. _

_ She regretted everything she said and did yesterday. She should have talked to her wife like adults do, but she stormed instead. What’s worse is she said something she didn’t mean. The words ‘If only I knew this would be my situation now, I wish I didn’t marry you in the first place.’ is ringing inside of her head and tightening her stomach. How come she said that when she will always find herself marrying Jinsoul whatever the obstacles are? Maybe it was the stress she gets from raising Choerry alone, most of the time, that made her say it. But still, it was not the right words nor the right time. _

_ Jungeun unlocks her phone, threw it somewhere. Suddenly, successive knocks from the door brought her to reality. “Vivi! I told you to go home!” She shouted from inside. She informed her secretary since the day she hired her that whenever she locks the door, no one will bother Jungeun at all. Jungeun thought the noise would stop but it only happened again, with a mix of muffled words.  _

_ “What do you want!?” Jungeun shouted again, annoyed. Silence follows. After a few seconds, Vivi spoke up from outside again.  _

_ “I have something to tell you!” Vivi shouted back. _

_ The CEO forced herself to stand up and opened the door. “I already told you to not bother me wh—” Jungeun couldn’t finish her sentence when her full attention was shifted to Vivi’s face. The look on her secretary is unexplainable. It’s her first time seeing it. _

_ “We tr-tried to call you but you’re not answering,” Vivi said, looking down, anxious. Jungeun frowned. The last time she remembered, no one messaged her or called her. Why would her secretary say the other way around? Maybe she turned on airplane mode? Maybe? She thought.  _

_ Yeah, right. She did. Nevermind. Anyways.  _

_ "Okay," She totally gets out of her office now. “What is it anyway?” _

_ Vivi looked at her for a minute or so without saying anything. The secretary couldn’t find the words to tell her boss about the news.  _

_ "Vivi, what is it?" Jungeun asked again when silence was the only answer she got. Vivi inhaled deeply, scooping a huge amount of courage before saying, "We have bad news for you." And as if on cue, few of Jungeun’s employees, mostly directors, suddenly appeared in front of her, leaning on their knees while gasping for air.  _

_ “Boss!" They called nervously at once. Jungeun is now bothered by what she’s seeing.  _

_ Haseul, one of the directors, walks towards her. She saw a glimpse of Haseul’s expression when the director glanced at Vivi. It’s somehow sad? Bothered? Disturbed? She thought. _

_ “We are sorry for your loss, Boss.” Haseul murmured. She doesn’t have enough courage to say it in a hearable tone, but she was content when she figured it reached her Boss. This is going to be painful. She thought. _

_ “Loss?” was Jungeun could say. Still confused. _

_ Haseul quickly realized the news hadn't reached her boss yet. She glared at Vivi, asking her through her eyes of why she didn’t tell their boss yet. But Vivi just avoids it by lowering her head.  _

_ “Hey,” Jungeun spoke up again. “What loss are you talking about?” _

_ Haseul, Vivi, as well as the employees who are present there, suddenly felt heavy bricks to their shoulders. Now that they realized Jungeun hadn’t heard about the fire accident, they are at a loss of words. They know the news is enough to break their Boss’s heart and they didn’t want to add salt to Jungeun’s incoming wound, but someone has to say it anyway. There was a long silence after that. _

_ "Are you all just gonna stand there and not answer my question? Who did I lose—" _

_ "Jinsoul died.” Finally! Someone at the back finally said it. It was Jiwoo, Jungeun’s best friend and the Director of the Marketing Department. “There was a fire accident in her factory.” _

_ And as quickly as Jiwoo announced the news, Jungeun's body froze entirely. She felt a bucket of ice was thrown at her. Her throat dried up. Her lower lips were trembling. Jungeun suddenly couldn’t feel her knees. She was about to fall down but her arm was fast enough to grab the doorknob.  _

_ Jiwoo rushed to her then snaked her arms around her best friend to help her stand. She really hates to see Jungeun struggle. “Hold onto me.” She whispered. Jungeun did what she was told. She doesn’t feel any strength from her body. Who would have thought that in just a matter of seconds, she became powerless? Who would have thought in less than a day since they fought, she already lost the person she was dying to see again? Who would have thought that in less than a day since their fight, she became a single parent? Who would have thought that? _

_ “I…” Jungeun swallowed hard. “I need to get my coat. I need to see Jinsoul.” She said. Jiwoo nodded and signaled Haseul to take the coat inside Jungeun’s office. Haseul quickly does it. _

_ “Here.” Haseul offered but when she saw Jungeun struggling in wearing the coat, she let herself do the honor to help the CEO dress up.  _

_ “I need to go,” Jungeun said again. She didn’t look at them when she excused herself. But before she could reach the elevator, someone grabbed her arm. _

_ “I’ll drive you.” Jiwoo offered. She pushed the button of the elevator. _

_ Jungeun looked at her with an empty face. "No, I’m fine,” Jungeun replied stubbornly.  _

_ "You are obviously not fine." Jiwoo bats. "Let me help you." _

_ "I just told you I don't need your help!" Jungeun accidentally raised her voice, surprising Jiwoo. But the best friend didn’t make a move, nor leave. She stayed there while they were having a staring contest. No one dared to take their eyes off of each other.  _

_ "I will drive you." Jiwoo said again, sternly, still hasn’t taken her eyes off. She will be there for Jungeun. She will be there even if Jungeun hates it.  _

_ "Jiwoo, I'm—" _

_ "Not fine and need someone to drive for you. And that someone is me, Jungeun." Jiwoo added for Jungeun. She said it because it’s the truth. She knows Jungeun doesn’t like to show her weak side to her best friend. There was no day Jungeun showed her weak point since college except today. She will break that character if need be. Jiwoo knows her best friend needs someone to lean on tonight, especially after she heard the news. Who else will help her best friend? It’s gonna be her.  _

_ Jiwoo adds, "I don't care about what you said and what you're going to say. Be mad at me, that's fine. But I will never let my best friend face this alone. She has me. You have me." As if on cue, the elevator opens in front of them. Jiwoo pulled her best friend inside. Starting that moment, Jungeun didn’t bother to stop Jiwoo. She just let Jiwoo pull her wherever she goes.  _

_ The ride from the company to the location of the fire was silent. Jiwoo gave her best friend space as she needed it. She’s sure there are a million things running inside Jungeun’s head now.  _

_ When Jiwoo parked her car somewhere, she heard Jungeun let out a loud gasp. “Oh, my God,” Jungeun muttered under her breath. Jiwoo quickly shifted her sight to the direction where Jungeun was looking. And she saw two familiar figures standing in front of the burning building. _

_ Jiwoo narrowed her eyes to see them clearly and finally realized who it was. “What the hell are they doing here?” Jiwoo asked, now leveled Jungeun’s mood. Jungeun didn’t answer her as she doesn’t know either. It was Jungeun’s father and her daughter, Choerry. _

_ “What the fuck is this?” Jungeun whispered. She unbuckles her seatbelt and immediately jumps off of the car.  _

_ "Dad!" The CEO screamed, bursting to her father. "What are you doing here? Why did you bring Choerry? She isn't supposed to be here!" Jungeun’s hands are gesturing everywhere.  _

_ "I don't want to leave my granddaughter in the house behind." Her dad explained. The older man has this expression on his face that Jungeun finds idiotic. “I had no time to think about it. When I heard the news, we rushed here immediately.” _

_ "But still!" Jungeun exhaled deeply. She rushed to her daughter and took her in her arms. That’s when she found out her daughter was already crying. Choerry’s lips were trembling. Her sight is still locked to the place where the fire is.  _

_ “Is Mama Jinsoul there?” Choerry said under her breath. “Is Mama Jinsoul inside the fire?” Jungeun pressed her lips together into a thin line, preventing another batch of tears attempting to come out.  _

_ She doesn’t know what to say. If she’s going to answer yes to her daughter’s question, she knows that it’s going to hurt her little kid. If she’ll say no, Choerry will find it sooner or later that she’s lying. That will only lead to hatred. She chose not to speak up. Either way, Choerry will be hurt. All she could do was to hug her daughter tightly inside her arms. Starting tonight, it’s only gonna be the two of them for the rest of her life. _

_ What she didn’t know, she was already bursting in tears. Her silent cries turned to loud sobs. Her pained noises were bouncing against her daughter’s chest.  _

_ Choerry feel the screams of her mother against her body. She saw the expression of her mother earlier, which only told her that she was sad. She’s starting to feel this unfamiliar feeling inside her chest. She doesn’t know what it is. She cannot understand this huge pain in her heart. She needs her Mama Jinsoul now! She needs her Mama Jinsoul to help her understand what is this emotion she’s feeling right now! _

_ “Jungeun,” Jiwoo called with a concerned voice, shook Jungeun’s arm once. “Pulled yourself together!” Jiwoo semi-whispered. “Choerry is not reacting anymore.”  _

_ She shiftly raised her head and saw Choerry was freezing in her hands. Choerry looks like she stopped functioning. She was staring somewhere else, her mouth slightly opened. _

_ “Choerry!” She called, shaking the girl in her hands. “Choerry! Choerry?” But the kid was still in the same situation. “I’m gonna call a doctor.” She fishes her hand to her pocket but it was empty. It hits her. She left her phone at her office.  _

_ Jiwoo saw the expression from Jungeun’s face and took it as a sign to do what she needed to do. “I’ll take her.” Jiwoo offered, grabbing Choerry from her best friend’s arms. “I’ll take her to the doctor. And you,” Jiwoo roamed her eyes. “Where’s your father?”  _

_ Jungeun just noticed that it was only the three of them left there. “I don’t fucking know and I don’t fucking care about him!”  _

_ “Okay,” Jiwoo put a hand in front of her to gesture the CEO to calm down. “I don’t care too. What I want you to do is to tell the medical team over there that you are Jinsoul’s wife. You need to claim her body.” Jiwoo glanced at Choerry. The girl was still frozen, still in the same malfunctioning kind of action. She then looked at her best friend, who is now looking at her kid with worry in her eyes. “Don’t worry. I’m going to take care of her. Now, go!”  _

_ That’s the last time Jiwoo said before Jungeun ran towards the fire, to the ambulance.  _

Kim Lip’s thoughts were chopped off vigorously by a loud shriek from another room. She was being pulled from another dimension forcefully.

“Choerry!” She called, running towards her kid’s room. Before she opened the door, she heard another scream again. When she swung the door open, she saw her daughter moving under the blanket. It was like Choerry was breaking away from a chain under her comforter. But Jungeun knows what this is. Choerry is having a nightmare. Just like her. “Choerry,” she rushed to her daughter and quickly pushed the comforter to the side to pulled Choerry, enveloping her daughter with her arms.

“Shhh,” Jungeun takes Choerry’s hair away from her face and sees the little girl is shutting her eyes hard. Jungeun sighed silently. At least she knows Choerry is okay now and just simply doesn’t want to open her eyes. Choerry clearly forces herself to go back to sleep.

Jungeun started to swing their bodies side to side slowly, carefully. She’s patting Choerry’s butt every second or two too. This is how they do it. This is how they calm Choerry whenever she’s having an episode.

Jungeun smiled when she felt Choerry's body wasn't tensing up anymore. The spell she and Jinsoul invented years ago is still working on their daughter now. But that doesn’t complete the spell until she’ll sing Choerry’s favorite bedtime song, which was composed by Jinsoul herself. Jungeun clears her throat first.

_ Are you having a bad dream? _

_ Are the enemies fighting you? _

_ Fight them, it’s what you have to do! _

_ Don't let them defeat you. _

_ Stand up, face your fears. _

_ Embrace yourself, brush your tears. _

_ Mama is here with you.  _

_ She loves you forever. _

Choerry is now sleeping peacefully in Kim Lip’s arms now but she still continues singing the song though. A snort escaped from her mouth when she suddenly remembered the day Jinsoul bragged the lyrics of the song to Jungeun. It was such a pleasant day, and it was such a funny moment because she cannot believe Jinsoul had the time to create lyrics like that. She cannot believe that Jinsoul was writing the lyrics seriously. She always and will always find the lyrics childish, and yet, here she is, singing it to her daughter in bed.

_"What?"_ _Jinsoul looked at her with raised eyebrows and arms to her sides. She just finished reading the lyrics of the song to Jungeun. Jinsoul expected a reaction from her wife but Jungeun remained silent._

_ The shorter woman looked at her wife over her shoulder with a ‘you’re-unbelievable’ expression on her face. She didn’t answer Jinsoul. She continued cooking breakfast instead. _

_ “What…?” Jinsoul asked again when silence was the only answer she got. She aggressively puts her face in front of Jungeun, teasing the other woman. “What can you say about it?”  _

_ "Okay, okay.” Jungeun giggled, still mixing the food on the pan.”Don’t put your face at me like that.” _

_ “Why wouldn’t I?” _

_ Because you are clearly making me blush. “Because you will burn yourself.” She said that instead. You almost put your hand to the stove, you know.” _

_ “Oops. Sorry. But what can you say about it?” Jinsoul wouldn’t stop unless she received a remark from her wife. “You still didn’t give your thoughts about it though.”  _

_ “Will she be able to understand that? She's only four." Jungeun murmurs, turning off the stove. Before she could reach the plate from the table, Jinsoul gets the plate and offers it to her. Jungeun took it and carefully slid the food on the plate. When Jungeun finally settled everything on the table, Jinsoul spoke up again.  _

_ "Honey, Choerry is smart." Jinsoul defended. "But I didn't make this for her to understand. I made this to help her sleep. Listen, I'll sing it to you." The taller woman didn't wait for a response as she sang the song to her wife immediately. Jungeun still found herself listening to it even if she knew what it would sound like. Jinsoul always sings in their home. She always hums lyrics she created herself out of nowhere. Living with Jinsoul for so many years, Jungeun found one significant melody Jinsoul always sings. Whatever the lyrics are, she always sings it with her signature melody. Jungeun could even sing it now if someone will ask her to. She’s confident she can pull it off. _

_ “How was it?” Jinsoul asked after she sang. _

_ “Good.” Jungeun lied. To be honest, she was just preventing the laugh that was attempting to escape from her mouth the whole time.  _

_ “Good? You mean, good, good?”  _

_ Jungeun chuckles. “I don’t know what you mean by that but, yeah. Good, good.”  _

_ Jinsoul throws a fist in the air while mouthing the word ‘yeah.’ Their attention completely shifted to their spiral staircase when they heard an increasing, familiar footsteps going down. It was Choerry.  _

_ The little girl was looking at them, blinking her eyes in a fast manner. She’s standing at the bottom of the stairs now while holding her favorite teddy bear. _

_ “Hi, baby!” Jungeun greeted her but Choerry didn’t answer her. Instead, the little girl walked across the dining table while singing the entire song Jinsoul just sang to Jungeun a while ago.  _

_ Jinsoul looked at Jungeun, surprised, mouth agape. “See?” She said, making her way to her chair. “She likes it! She even sang it perfectly in one try!”  _

_ Jungeun made a face. “You know our kid, Jinsoul. She’s smart.” She teased. _

_ “You just don’t like to admit now that I’m a genius.”  _

_ “Who said you are a genius? I think I need to interrogate them.”  _

_ Jinsoul puffs. “You. Since eight years ago.”  _

_ Jungeun paused, blushed. That was true though. When she raised her head to look at Jinsoul’s direction, she saw her wife was already laughing silently, teasing Jungeun more. Jinsoul stucked her tongue to her wife.  _

Jungeun smiled at the memory. She remembered the time when they first enrolled Choerry to a primary school. A lot of people bullied their daughter. Some families even talk about Choerry’s condition right in front of them, like slapping it to their faces, especially when they are passing by in the hallways. 

Jungeun had a conversation with Jinsoul about it one night. She asked Jinsoul’s perception of the people who bully their child. What her wife told her just made her fall in love with Jinsoul all over again. 

_ “We can’t stop them, you know. Just let them think like that. They are the disease, not Choerry’s autism. That’s the truth.” Jinsoul answered while playing Jungeun’s hair.  _

_ “Have you ever once wished Choerry to be normal?” Jungeun asked curiously.  _

_ “No. Never.” Jinsoul blurted. “She will never be my Choerry then.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Good day! I hope you are all okay in your humble homes today! By the way, how was chapter two? Are you enjoying reading it? Did you cry? Hahaha! I’m just kidding! I hope you enjoyed reading this! This story was supposed to be a short story but I realized it’s too long for that so I made it into chapters. Based on the draft I wrote, this is sort of 4 or 5 chapters? I am not really sure. Everytime I proofread it, I always end up adding scenes to the chapters. I will write an epilogue for this, by the way.  
> What do you expect to happen in the next chapter? You can tell me by commenting here or in my twitter account.   
> I think that’s all. Thank you once again and have a nice day! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim Lip, Jiwoo, and Choerry visited the Moonlight Shines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay of this chapter. Quarantine didn't bring any good to me but I was really happy when I had the time to post this chapter. This is my first LOONA fic and I have been putting my heart into this since day 1. I hope you are all doing well and safe in your humble homes. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one!

"Why do you have huge bags under your eyes?" Jiwoo asked in her signature honey voice. She just closed the van after Choerry got inside the cab. Kim Lip on the other hand, is still carrying their last luggage. 

“I couldn’t sleep last night.” The artist answered. “Choerry had another episode.” She took one last look behind Jiwoo to double-check if there’s still anything left for her to carry. “Was that all?” She asked, just to make sure.

“Yeah,” Jiwoo nodded. Jiwoo knows what this episode means her best friend was talking about. She saw it in her own eyes. She experienced it the last time she slept in Kim Lip’s house. 

Kim Lip claps. “Let’s get inside then.” Before you could take a step, Jiwoo stops her.

“Are you okay with this? We can call out a delivery company to take care of this if you want to.” 

Kim Lip snorted. “Are you really asking me that question after I just put our things inside the cab?”

“You know what I mean, Jungeun.” Jiwoo called her with that name again. Jiwoo is serious. “It’s been what? Five years? Since you left that place? You left that city after Jinsoul’s death.” Jiwoo hesitated to continue when she saw the glimpse of sadness on Kim Lip’s face but continued anyway. “I am just making sure if you can take it now. That city only gave you sad memories. You've been working so hard to accept everything.” Jiwoo leaned her face closer to Kim Lip. “What I mean is, are you ready to visit the city you wanted to forget?” 

The  _ Moonlight Shines  _ reside in the south area of the country. It is where Jinsoul found dead in the fire accident, the place where they resided before. After her wife’s funeral, Kim Lip immediately moved to another city where she can find peace. A very far away city, in which they are residing now. 

Kim Lip’s last home was her sanctuary and her misery in one. It’s like a paradise flooded with blood. And if she will choose to move out to another place to completely forget everything that happened there, she’s willing to do that. She did it anyway. 

And now, after five years, she’s coming back.

That worries Jiwoo.

Jiwoo was asking if she’s ready to see it again. The place which took her best friend’s beloved wife’s life. She’s concerned that it will not only bring tears, but the pain from the past might collapse Kim Lip from the character she built for quite some time now.

Jiwoo’s worried the memories Kim Lip had with Jinsoul might stab Kim Lip’s heart like sharp knives. Is Jungeun really ready to accept the past?

Kim Lip flashes a comforting smile and her lips and patted Jiwoo. “I’m fine, Jiwoo.” She said silently. Though her voice sounded timid, Kim Lip is ready to accept everything that happened in the past deep inside. 

She needed to. Little by little for now. 

These thoughts were haunting her since that day she heard that  _ Moonlight Shines _ places where they resided before. But she finally made her decision after what happened yesterday with Choerry.

She’s having nightmares, Choerry as well. She thought that maybe, just maybe, this move could help them move on from Jinsoul. This visit may help her accept that her favorite person will never come back. This move may lessen the guilt she’s carrying every day. Maybe after this visit, she’ll accept the fact that there are things she cannot change. And that includes Jinsoul’s death. 

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot of times. When I say a lot of times, that means all the time.” Kim Lip smiled at her best friend again. “But if I fail,” she displays a weak smile, “...catch me.” 

Jiwoo wanted to protect her best friend from being broken again. She doesn’t like to see the old Kim Lip after Jinsoul left them. She always cries, cries, and cries. Jiwoo was forced to resign from her work to take care of her. She became the mother of Kim Lip and Choerry before. She wasn’t complaining, and never will. But she cannot dare to see Kim Lip in that kind of state. 

Kim Lip barely managed to be Choerry’s mother at that time. Choerry became silent since then. Choerry never tells her mother, or even Jiwoo, if someone from her school bullies her. 

One day, Jiwoo almost got a heart attack when she saw Choerry covered with blood. Of course, Kim Lip as well. They immediately brought her to the nearest hospital. The next day, they heard that Choerry was bullied and attacked by one of the famous female groups in her school. Worst is they threatened to kill her for being weird yet smart. 

After that incident, Jiwoo squeezed the heaven out that is left in Kim Lip and convinced her best friend to see a psychiatrist. And that’s what they are doing up until now. 

But seeing the hopeful smile in Kim Lip’s face, hearing those latter words, Jiwoo concluded that Kim Lip is ready to accept it all now.  _ Slowly _ . And the last two words tell Jiwoo that Kim Lip still needs her help. That might be the reason why she was invited in the first place. 

The corner of Jiwoo’s lips lit up into a smirk. “I can’t take you all by myself. You’re heavy.” Jiwoo jokes. She quickly ran towards the passenger seat to avoid Kim Lip’s punches.

“Hey!” Kim Lip shouted back. She’s glad Jiwoo understood what she wanted to relay. 

“Just kidding!” Jiwoo shouted back. She’s happy now. She’s glad to see her best friend trying to move on from the past. Kim Lip is trying her best to detox. That brings a smile on Jiwoo’s lips. It blooms her heart to know there’s a little improvement.  _ Slowly _ . One at a time. That may be enough for now. 

The ride to the airport was silent but comfortable. Kim Lip and Jiwoo entered the airport with baggage in their hands. Kim Lip has one huge duffle bag in her shoulder, her right hand is holding Choerry’s hand, the other one is carrying her purse. They immediately entered the plane. Choerry seated between the two adults.

“Say goodbye,” Kim Lip whispered to Choerry’s ears. She wanted her daughter to at least say something to the airplane’s staff before they would take off.

“Goodbye,” Choerry said before getting inside the pickup car Jiwoo rented online. 

*****

"What do you think her nightmares are?" Jiwoo suddenly opens a conversation in between their ride to the  _ Moonlight Shines. _ Kim Lip turned to the last alley. The beauty of the rural area welcomes them as she drives deeper and deeper. Choerry opens the window and leans her head to the border of the window. She smells the fresh grassy air outside. That sight made Kim Lip smile.

Jiwoo rented a car with a GPS panel as the three of them aren't familiar with the place. To their surprise, it was actually far from Kim Lip’s previous home.

No one knows about this place as this is far away from the city, miles away from their homes. But they are still lucky to receive the exact location of the place. Without that, they might go back home.

"I..." Kim Lip stammers. She didn't get the idea of asking her daughter about her dreams lately. "I don't have any idea. Why do you ask?"

"All I remember was it was gummy bears, right?"

"Yeah, and it was five years ago though. I didn't get to ask her what it is lately."

"I'm just curious what bothers my goddaughter every night," Jiwoo added. Silence followed after that. 

Choerry and Jiwoo fell asleep in the middle of the ride. On the contrary, though Kim Lip's eyes are as heavy as concrete, she's fighting it so they could reach the  _ Moonlight Shines _ in the scheduled time. She doesn't want to disappoint the people from the charity as they already told them they are coming today before sunsets. 

Now that her companions are sleeping, she had the time to look at the sky outside her car. It's been a while since she smells the grassy ambiance from a province. When was the last time she visited a place like this? Five or six years ago? 

Those were the days when she felt light, easy, fulfilled, and so many good things. Her life is still good right now, but nothing could beat those days when  _ Jinsoul was still alive. _

Kim Lip was taken aback when she saw the place with a bunch of kids, running on a miniature garden. Kim Lip parked the car while examining the place.

As she remembered from the Headmaster yesterday in the call, their school building is white and black, a garden in front of it, and a two-story dormitory in the back of the school. Kim Lip narrowed her eyes to check if the premises in front of her matches the headmaster's descriptions. When she saw the back and white two-story dormitory, she’s certain now.

Kim Lip carefully shakes her friend who’s sleeping beside her. Jiwoo swiftly raised her arms, like doing a boxing basic form.

Kim Lip laughs seeing that. "We're here." She told Jiwoo, who is still half awake. "Why are those fists for? Are you going to punch your gorgeous friend?" She jokes.

Jiwoo groaned when she finally realized what Kim Lip said. And like a ritual, the first thing Jiwoo does every time she wakes is to check her bangs and fix them.

Kim Lip jumps from her car and travels to the backseat to wake her daughter. Choerry does her little screams again. This only means Choerry wanted to sleep more.

"Choerry, it's Mommy." Kim Lip whispered to her daughter's ear with a honeyed tone. "We're here now."

Her daughter carefully opened her eyes, slowly checking her surroundings. A minute later, she jumps to her mom for a hug. Kim Lip carried her 10-year-old daughter to the gates of the  _ Moonlight Shines _ .

Jiwoo pressed the doorbell thrice. "Are you sure this is the place?"

"Yeah. I checked the place twice."

Choerry suddenly gestured to her mom that she wanted to stand up beside her. Kim Lip followed her daughter's wish. 

They heard a voice shouting from the other side, "Hold on a sec!" Jiwoo immediately recognized the voice. It's the headmaster.

The locks rumble for a few seconds before the door finally opens. They were welcomed by a beautiful lady in a white dress with an apron. She is probably cooking. 

"Oh, my God!" The headmaster gasped. "You must be, Miss Kim Lip!" She practically ran towards Kim Lip then envelopes the artist into a hug. Jiwoo, on the other side, was still staring at the woman. After a few seconds that felt a decade, the woman finally notices Jiwoo’s existence. 

"And you must be Chuu?" The woman hugged the manager tightly. But Jiwoo's happiness was short-lived when the headmaster broke their hug and quickly turned her full attention to the younger girl who was standing beside Kim Lip. "And you must be Choerry. Am I right?" Kim Lip was surprised to hear the headmaster’s tone. It was close to Choerry’s preference. She did a great job on her first try.

Choerry has an acute hearing. That means there are a lot of sounds she finds loud. To be able to converse with her, you needed to use a very calm, friendly, sort of baby type of voice, when opening a conversation with her for the first time. And the headmaster closely hit them all in her first try. Kim Lip looks at the headmaster, who is semi-sitting on the floor to level Choerry's height, with amazement.

Choerry nodded with a smile on her face. The headmaster stroked Choerry's hair.

"You all must be tired. Come on in!" She gestures to the group to get inside. They followed her gladly. "By the way, I don't know if I already introduced myself over the phone, but my name's Yves."

Just right after Yves introduced her name, a loud voice from inside the building called her “Yves! The food is burning!" 

Yves looked like a bucket of ice was thrown at her. She forgets about the dinner she’s preparing for her guests. Before she told her guests to get inside, the door swung open and a girl with shiny maroon hair stood in front of them. "I said, the food is burning." She growled silently.

Yves smiled at her guests shyly then turned to the girl to make faces. Yves pointed her lips to her and guests, hoping her friend would quickly understand that their guests were here. 

The woman narrowed her eyes. Her expression quickly changed after she realized it's the fairy godmother of the children in their orphanage. She feels embarrassed now. It's the woman who will save the future of the Moonlight Shine's children. God finally heard their prayers.

She fixes herself before reaching out a hand for a shake. "I'm really so sorry about earlier. My name is Hyunjin.” Kim Lip shook her hand. Hyunjin brought them inside the building, which immediately brought them to the living room, where it was decorated as the children’s playroom.

"My name is Hyunjin!" Choerry shouted all of a sudden. That brought the children's attention.

"Who was that?" A tiny girl quite far from them asked after she heard an unfamiliar voice. "That is not sister Hyunjin."

Hyunjin, surprised, crouched down to level Choerry's height. "You are Hyunjin too?" She asked, putting a hand on Choerry's shoulder.

"My name is Hyunjin!" Choerry repeated. Hyunjin got confused. She looked up to the brunette woman.

"Her name is Choerry." Kim Lip answered. "She has autism and acute hearing. She repeats words sometimes." 

Hyunjun nods. "Please, make yourself at home." The red hair woman offered. "Yves and I knew you're coming so we are preparing for dinner tonight. We also have spare rooms set for you in the house." Kim Lip and Jiwoo quickly show their smiles and nod to Hyunjin's explanation.

It was a long ride for Kim Lip. A two-hour plane trip, the almost-an-hour car ride, that made her more exhausted because she was driving, not allowing her to take a quick nap. Honestly, she told herself to sleep right away after they reached the place. 

She's supposed to be exhausted. But everything washed out from her system after she saw the children, who are playing in the playroom.

The place was messy. None of that matters as she watches the kids playing happily with their heart’s content. Their squeaks, their laughs, and the conversations that only kids are allowed. Those things flourishes everything. 

And it brightens her mood more when she sees the drawings on the table and on the floor.  _ These kids are blind.  _ She knows that from the very beginning.  _ But how were they able to pull such beautiful art? _ She thought, confused. 

One drawing was lying on the floor. Kim Lip’s instinct tells her to kneeled and grab it to take a closer look at it. A smile quickly painted on her face when she saw the art. It was beautiful. She cannot believe how these kids draw as if they could see. 

_ These are masterpieces!  _

The drawing shows a small house above the hill, surrounded by the sea. 

She shut her eyes for a second to stop the tears that were attempting to come out. She would have never guessed the drawing was made by a blind kid. And maybe what makes her emotional was the fact that she understood the spirit of the art. Is it because she also draws abstract arts? She really doesn't know.

"Where was it?" The girl in front of Kim Lip, blonde, was blindly caressing the floor using her hands to find her drawing. That brought Kim Lip back to Earth. "I'm sure it fell here." Kim Lip smiled. She immediately realized the kid was the one who made it.

Kim Lip silently reached out the paper to the kid up until she could touch it. The moment the kid touches the edge of the paper, the girl whispers silently, as if something miraculous happened.

"Have you found it, Gowon?" A deep voice interrupted them. Kim Lip turned and saw a kid with shiny black hair and parted lips. Her body screamed power. 

Kim Lip turned, wonders, why the blonde didn't answer the other kid yet. She saw Gowon, the blonde, carefully rubbing her fingertips against the paper. Kim Lip frowned.  _ What the hell is she doing? _

"Do you need help, Gowon?" The shiny black haired girl called out again and was about to leave her place when Gowon finally answered.

"Yes!" Gowon exclaimed. She crawls slowly back to her table.

"Where are you?" The other kid asked.

"I'm coming back, Olivia. Don't worry!"

Kim Lip was still there, still confused about what she saw. 

These kids...they are special. She thought. 

There must be some explanation that would answer Kim Lip’s curiosity. What is that thing that Gowon did to her drawing? Why is she rubbing her fingertips against the paper? 

Her mind tells her that Gowon was trying to check if it was her drawing. That might be it, but it is not certain. Someone must explain everything to her before her mind will blow. 

What amazed Kim Lip was the fact that Gowon was so sure that it was her drawing. How come? If Kim Lip will let Gowon test another drawing, will she be able to distinguish? 

Kim Lip, whose mind is still in another dimension, stood next to Hyunjin. The red hair girl just finished cleaning the table. Hyunjin is now putting a large table mat. Kim Lip took that chance to ask her about what she saw.

"Why is she..." Kim Lip was lost at words. Her body instinctively copied what Gowon did earlier using her two hands. Hyunjin frowns, doesn't have any idea what Kim Lip is doing.

"She was checking if it's her drawing," Yves answered when she passed by, putting two large plates of white rice. "Can you check the food for me?" She asked Hyunjin. Hyunjin nodded and immediately left to continue Yves’s duties.

"Checking? How?” Kim Lip continued.

Yves mirrored what exactly Gowon did earlier with her hands too. "She was rubbing, caressing, her fingertips against the texture of the crayons," Yves explained. "As you can see, it's really impossible for them to check their drawings using their eyes since they were deprived of sight since the day they were born. But that didn’t stop my friend from teaching the kids how to draw using her own technique.” Yves flashes a proud smile. “She calls it  _ tactics. _ ” 

Kim Lip frowned, still not getting the whole idea. “I’m really sorry. I might be the last person to ask this but caressing the drawing alone isn’t enough for them to be sure it was their drawing. Is there any special way they could tell it was theirs?”

“You mean–”

“What I mean is…” Kim Lip scratches her head, confused about how to explain everything. Yves smiled seeing their donor like that. “Sorry to cut you off but what I mean is I could draw anything. But how the hell they can be so sure it was theirs? Ugh,” Kim Lip groaned silently out of frustration. Jiwoo was taken aback to see that. It’s been a while since she saw her best friend so frustrated about something.

Yves laughed looking at Kim Lip. She thinks she knew what Kim Lip was trying to say. “You mean, how can they distinguish their drawings from others just by touching the texture of the crayons?" Yves inserted. "What’s the secret behind all of that?” 

Kim Lip nodded as a kid nodded to her mother when she was asked if she wanted chocolate. 

Yves smiled, nodded back. She will never get tired explaining this secret to anybody. She can do this all day. That shows how proud she is with the children. Even though they weren’t hers originally.

“The kids were taught different strokes for each color.” Yves continued. She bends her knee between Gowon and Olivia and whispers something to them. Seconds later, she returned with two flat pencil cases in her hands. She put them, parallel to each other, 0n the table beside the window. She waited for Kim Lip and Jiwoo to come closer before she opened the pencil cases. 

"As you can see..." Yves pointed out the two cases. "...the crayons inside the cases have designated placement on it. From yellow, blue, green, brown, red, black, orange to violet." The best friends nodded after they confirmed it. "Basically, doing this, the kids know what the colors are depending on the placement. Then that will give them an idea of where to get the color of their like when they draw.” The best friends’ mouths formed an o.

Yves continues, "And as I mentioned earlier, each color has a specific stroke. If you look closely at Olivia..." Their sight followed where Yves's hand was pointed. "She's using the color blue. Look how she strokes the crayon." The best friends were observing silently.

"She's stroking it horizontally," Jiwoo whispered. 

Yves nods. “That’s right. The kids draw not just with their imagination, but also their vision.” 

“And also with memorization.” Kim Lip inserted. She thinks she understands everything now. Yves smiled proudly at her.

"So, this is not just basically about what crayon to use or what to draw, it is also about memorizing and stuff." Kim Lip continued. “Gowon already had the vision of her drawing inside her head. When she was caressing her fingertips against the texture of the crayons she used in her drawing, she was also checking if it matches her vision.”

“Ding dong ding,” Yves flicks her fingers. “That’s right.” 

Kim Lip carried her hands above her hand. She’s in awe. 

“You know, it’s been ages since we did this.” Yves suddenly speaks. “I remembered when we were at the stage of giving up because we didn’t see the progress of the kids. But then one day, I don’t know when Jean suddenly hugged me tightly.”

“Who’s Jean?” Kim Lip and Jiwoo asked at the same time.

“The one who taught the kids how to draw like that.” Yves replied. “She’s also the one who draws the painting you asked for in exchange.” 

“Is she here?” Kim Lip suddenly had a rush to meet the woman. 

“Nope, she isn't here. She lives quite far from here.” 

“I see,” Kim Lip’s voice now is small. “But how about the painting?” 

“Oh, I almost forgot about that.” Yves scratches her head. The days of practicing how to tell Kim Lip about the painting didn’t pay off when her courage quickly left her right after Kim Lip asked. “Uhm, actually…”

“Jean will deliver it tomorrow.” Hyunjin answered the question while separating the plates on the table for the kids. “It took her time because it’s quite huge. That’s what I remember.” 

Yves turned to meet Hyunjin’s eyes. She’s trying to tell Hyunjin to stop talking nonsense. “Don’t be too frank.” She mouthed to Hyunjin. The red hair girl nods. 

Kim Lip ran a hand through her hair. “That’s okay.” She said matter of factly. “We are not rushing as the exhibit will happen next month. We still have time. Don’t worry.” She smiled at Yves. The headmaster mirrored it to her. 

Even if they just met properly and personally today, Yves already felt Kim Lip’s warm heart towards kids. Most especially towards art. For Yves, Kim Lip herself is like an art. A mystery whom she needed to understand more. Bright and lonely. Happy yet not fulfilled. Like there’s a missing piece to be added for her to be a masterpiece. 

Kim Lip on the other hand, regretted why she just knew all of this, all about  _ Moonlight Shines.  _ What took her so long?

"So—" she chokes up, her throat is dry. Jiwoo turned around to laugh. Kim Lip grabbed her best friend's shoulder, squeezing it tightly. This is her way of telling Jiwoo  _ why are you laughing at me? _

Kim Lip cleared her throat before speaking up. But before she could utter a word, she remembered the little girl she brought with them. Choerry. 

Her heart panics but it was short-lived when she saw her daughter sitting between Gowon and Olivia. Choerry was playing with the kids. Kim Lip exhaled air of relief. She almost got a heart attack there. 

Choerry was having a conversation with Gowon and Olivia, and the rest of the kids. It melts Kim Lip’s heart when Choerry was talking to them like she’s part of the crowd from the start. She mingles to them perfectly. Kim Lip felt so nice to see her kid doesn’t need to change a bit to belong in the crowd. Those were the thoughts that were always in her mind for quite some time now. How is she going to insert Choerry in the society without them judging her daughter?

Speaking of the angel, Choerry suddenly called her name, helping her to come back to Earth. "Mommy, look!" Choerry was waving Gowon's drawing. "The fishes are swimming in the ocean."

Kim Lip got surprised. Her mouth left agape but she recovered quickly. "Is it?" She asked her daughter. 

"Hmm!" Choerry answered cheerfully. She’s beaming widely. 

"Hey,” A small voice from Choerry’s side asked. “H-how do you know they are swimming in the ocean?" Gowon asked quietly. Gowon understood that the girl next to her can see based on what she just heard. But if Gowon perfectly recalls, she said swimming. 

"I can see them move." Choerry replied. “They are swimming or aren’t they?”

"Yeah, you're right." Olivia snorts. The black-haired girl found it funny for Gowon to ask the kid when they both know she can see. But what they aren’t prepared for are the next words Choerry said. 

"Your drawing is beautiful, Gowon. They are as beautiful as you." 

Gowon's cheeks heat up suddenly. 

"You're amazing!" Choerry continued. 

Olivia frowned, wondered. "How come you see them move? Drawings are static."

Choerry grabbed both Gowon and Olivia's shoulder and pull them together closer to her. It's like they're having a meeting on their own. "All of your drawings are moving," Choerry said honestly. That's how she sees them. 

Maybe Choerry has more to offer than acute hearing. 

"Do you wanna know a secret?"

"What secret?" Olivia asked, now engaged.

"I have powers! I can turn yellow to green!"

"You can?" Gowon accidentally raised her voice.

"Gowon, shh!" Olivia said. "It's a secret. We should be the only one who should know about this."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Gowon said, lowering her head. 

Kim Lip laughed while watching the kids. She turned and was quite surprised to see Yves doing the same. It brings a lot of butterflies to her stomach while watching Yves looking at the kids, including her daughter, with adoration. 

Meanwhile, an adult woman with bangs perfectly flatten, was standing in the corner, puzzled. "Can she really do that?" Jiwoo asked all of a sudden.

Kim Lip turned to her. “ Do, what?"

Jiwoo points at the kids. "You know, yellow to green." Kim Lip snorts. "Hey, I didn't know about that." Jiwoo continued, still clueless. 

Kim Lip quickly grabbed a few crayons from the floor. She brushes the yellow and blue together, making sure Jiwoo is looking at it, creating a color green. Jiwoo's mouth formed an o, turning around, embarrassed about her lack of education about colors. 

Jiwoo immediately retreats when she realizes something. "How will Choerry...I mean..." The three of them turned their heads when they finally realized what Jiwoo was talking about.

They were left astonished when they watch Choerry brushes each crayons using the strokes of each color. She grabs Gowon and Olivia's hand to let them touch the paper.  _ The kid is a genius. _

"Is this green?" Gowon asked as she rubbed her fingertips.

"B-but...these are blue and yellow," Olivia whispered. She was also caressing the paper.

"Exactly," Choerry whispered to them. A smile painted on her face. "If you mix yellow and blue, it will turn to green."

"Your kid is amazing." Yves murmured as she turned to Kim Lip, amazed. How come Choerry managed to learn everything in a short period of time. Was she listening when Yves explained everything earlier? Let's say yes. But did she also learn the strokes in a short period of time? Yves thought. This kid is special.

Kim Lip’s heart melted when she saw the honesty and adoration in Yves’s both words and eyes. When was the last time she heard someone say something like that about her daughter?

Five years ago.

Kim Lip shakes her head, trying to get the thoughts outside her head when it attempted to corrupt her mind again. Those memories aren’t healthy. That is what Kim Lip needed at this moment. 

"Yes, I know that." Kim Lip said proudly. There was never a day that she wasn't proud of her daughter since Choerry was born. "Maybe she got it from her other mother."

Jiwoo turned right after she heard the words that escaped from Kim Lip’s mouth. But she wasn’t given the time to say something when Hyunjin suddenly shouted. 

"Dinner is ready!" Hyunjin announced. The kids quickly rushed to the table as if they had a vision. Another thing that mesmerized the artist. 

“Dinner?” Yves asked Kim Lip silently. 

“Thank you but I’m not hungry. Let the kids eat be prioritized.” She replied. Yves nodded. 

She quickly assisted the kids to sit on their chairs. She lets the kids touch the utensils so they will know where they are placed. 

Hyunjin heard them so she only gestured to Jiwoo to join them instead. 

After long minutes of settling all of the kids down, Kim Lip finally notices her daughter's presence. The ten-year-old kid was standing shyly in the corner, looking down, waiting for something. Kim Lip closes the gap between them and bends down to level her daughter's eyes.

"Do you want to eat with them?" She asked quietly. Choerry nodded hastily. "Go on. Don’t be afraid." Kim Lip said. 

Then just like that, Choerry immediately runs towards the chair between Gowon and Olivia. The two kids were happy when they finally touch Choerry beside them. It melts the mother’s heart again.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat? Is the food not your liking?” Kim Lip was interrupted by Yves. 

“No, no, no.” The artist shakes her hand in front of her. “Hey, don’t say it like I disgusted your food.” She scratches her head. “I’m just…” Kim Lip was hesitant to continue her sentence. But continue anyway when she saw Yves was waiting for it. “...tired. Exhausted, to be honest.” 

Yves nods, completely understood as to why Kim Lip doesn’t have the appetite. She quickly checks if the keys are inside her pockets, and when confirmed it was there, she speaks up. 

“Want to lead me to your room?” She asked. Kim Lip’s eyes brighten with the idea. She nodded. 

Kim Lip taps Jiwoo's shoulder, then whispers that she will carry their bags to their room on the premises. Jiwoo wanted to offer her help but was pushed down back to her chair by Kim Lip. She told Jiwoo to enjoy eating and she can handle their things instead. Besides, Yves will be there too. 

Jiwoo pouted, disappointed she wasn't invited to the party with Yves. Kim Lip just stuck her tongue out to Jiwoo. She then proceeds outside the gates, to her car, to carry her things.

*****

Kim Lip was very careful with her steps when going out to the orphanage’s building. She needed to tiptoe sometimes. 

For the last couple of hours, she forced herself to sleep yet she failed. After a couple of rolls to the right and left, she decided to breathe some fresh air. Jiwoo and Choerry immediately fell asleep the moment their bodies glued to their beds. They were exhausted though. After dinner, they played with the kids in the garden.

Kim Lip slowly opened the door that will lead her to the garden, wanting to make sure she won’t make a noise. 

Kim Lip jumped slightly when she saw someone standing outside the garden. It was Yves. The headmaster’s heart almost escaped her chest when she heard the door open. When she was sure everyone had gone to their beds. 

“Miss Kim Lip.” Yves called out of surprise. “What brings you here?” 

Kim Lip put her hand to her chest, inhaling and exhaling sharply. She needed a moment to calm her heart before she could answer Yves. 

“You almost kill me.” She said after a few moments of heavy breathing. “I thought I met a ghost.” That brought a laugh to Yves’s mouth. “I needed to breathe some air. I can’t sleep either. What about you? Why are you still awake?” Kim Lip saw the headmaster was holding a cigarette between her two fingers. “So, you smoke?” 

Yves’s eyes immediately landed on her hand, which held the cigarette. “Yeah. Not every day. Just sometimes.”

Kim Lip closed the door and stood beside Yves, enough space for being civil. “I’m pretty sure there’s a reason why today is one of your  _ just sometimes. _ ” The corner of Kim Lip’s lips lit into a side smirk. 

Yves laughed with it. 

“You know, every time you look at me, it makes me feel guilty.” Kim Lip inserted.

“What?” 

“Just like that. It feels like I am going to eat you, you know.” The brunette shrugs. “Just be comfortable with me.” Kim Lip fished her box of cigarettes. She shows it to Yves. “Especially now that we both know we’re smokers.” 

Yves stared at Kim Lip for quite some time before offering her own cigarette so Kim Lip could lit up her own. 

“So, what’s the reason why you smoke tonight?” Kim Lip breaks the silence that’s attempting to surround them again. 

Yves inhaled her cigarette one last time, then she threw it to the ground to step on it. After the fire was out, she took it and threw it inside the garbage can. As she returned, she saw Kim Lip was laughing silently at the corner. 

“You're very careful, Miss headmaster.” Kim Lip said sarcastically. The taller woman just rolled her eyes in front of her. 

“I needed to. I don’t want the kids to know.” 

Kim Lip nodded. Then silence followed again. 

“When we heard that you chose our orphanage, I felt like my heart was going to explode.”

“Because of nicotine?” Kim Lip jokes again.

Yves punched her shoulder that made Kim Lip inhale all the smoke down to her system. She coughs. 

“Karma is a bitch,” Yves muttered under her breath. 

Kim Lip was flashing a sarcastic smirk to Yves in between her coughs. “You are the bitch.” She finally said when her throat was clear. “Why would you punch me like that?” 

“Because you are a bitch.” 

“Am I bitch too?” Kim Lip accidentally raised her voice an octave higher. The two of them pause to their place when they both realize they caused a minor commotion. Seconds later, they heard Hyunjin grunted loudly, reminding them to keep their voice down.

“What a bitch.” Yves whispered. The two of them couldn’t help but laugh because of their situation. 

“May I ask you something, Kim Lip?” Yves asked after a few minutes. They also decided to drop the banmal. 

“Yeah, sure,"

“What made you decide to donate money in our orphanage?” Yves holds her hands together and suddenly becomes the headmaster Yves. 

Kim Lip couldn’t help but spot the seriousness and her eyes. She smiled at the sight. Honestly, she’s surprised by the question. She doesn’t know how to answer that. Would she lie to make her words beautiful or would she tell the truth even if it’s ugly? 

The truth. Yeah, the truth. 

“Hmm...” Kim Lip walked towards the center part of the garden. "Why I wanted to donate to your orphanage. That was your question, right?" Yves nodded. "Actually, I don't really put much attention when choosing charities since I started my project. I just kind of choose the application or letters for fun.”

Yves’s headshot right up the moment she heard what Kim Lip said. 

The shorter woman meets Yves's eyes. “Yeah, you heard me right,  _ for fun."  _ Kim Lip seated on the wooden chair in the garden, looking up to the woman who accompanied her. She knows this will piss Yves. She knew it the moment Yves asked. 

She continued anyway. "And yours is one of those too." 

Yves looked pained and Kim Lip caught that. Kim Lip is willing to offer Yves another cigarette if Yves needed it but by the looks of it, Yves calmed down quickly. 

Honestly, Kim Lip felt the same emotion as Yves. No one wants to be played. But she just wanted to tell the whole truth even if it sounded strange. 

Yves felt the need to speak out all of her emotions tonight at Kim Lip. She needs to before she explodes. When she utters a word, Kim Lip immediately cuts her off. 

"Then everything changed right after I came here. I saw how talented and gifted these children are. I witness the comfort they share with me and to my daughter. How bright Jiwoo’s smile and eyes were when she was playing with them. I got to admit, I am such a fool for not noticing your home earlier in my life.” The artist smiled weakly. 

“What I saw today blew my mind. How the kids manage to display such art with the lack of vision.” Kim Lip continued. “One thing I realized for certain.” She looks up at the sky. “We don’t need to grieve if we don’t have what we want. We just didn't realize we all have everything we need.” 

The cold air brushes their skin. 

“I wasn’t informed you are a poet too.” Yves jokes. Half-meant. Kim Lip's lips lit up into a smile that shows her teeth. “But thank you for choosing us. You don’t have any idea what you put into the children’s life.”

“You don’t have to flatter me. I have enough today.” Kim Lip replied. She throws her cigarette in the garbage bin. “Besides, it’s a win-win for me. This place taught me not to hold onto something I cannot change. Instead, make the most of what remains.” 

Yves snorted. “You are such a poet bitch.” They both laugh at Yves’s remarks. 

"I kinda wanna stay here for a bit, you know. Do you mind?" Kim Lip added suddenly that caught Yves off guard. Kim Lip raised her eyebrows, waiting for Yves’s answer. “You looked like you saw a ghost.”

Yves blinked a couple of times. “Wow, you’re so original.” 

Kim Lip laughs. “So, we are welcome here? The painting wasn’t finished yet, right? So, I kind of like to spend the time here while waiting for it. Maybe two or three days would be enough. Besides, I want Choerry to spend more time with the kids. It felt family to her. Kim Lip stood up, walking towards Yves. 

“Jiwoo can help you with the food. She’s a great cook. While I can teach the kids more about drawing. I can cut logs too. My ex-wife taught me how to do it.”

"Ex-wife?"

"Yeah. Unbelievable?" Kim Lip chuckled at the thought. She couldn't believe it at first too but she definitely didn't regret everything. Except, for the guilt that still haunts her every night. "I'm a lesbian."

The headmaster just nodded. The revelation wasn’t new to her. She heard a lot about it.

Yves’s eyes lit up when something came up in her mind."So..." She hesitated for a second until she collected herself and had the courage to spill it. "So, Choerry is adopted?"

"Nope.” Kim Lip shakes her head. “She was really ours. Choerry was born through IVF, in vitro fertilization. It's when we used my egg cells and fertilized them with sperm cells from an anonymous donor. It was then injected into my wife. She's the one who carries Choerry for nine months. Maybe that's one of the reasons why they are so close to each other."

"W-where is—" Yves had to ask to make sure of some things.

"My wife? She died five years ago. Fire accident." Kim Lip didn’t finish her sentence when a car horns loudly from outside. Whoever was outside, they horn three times in a specific manner that Yves knows.

“It’s them.” Yves announced. 

“Who?”

A window from the second floor was swung open aggressively. “Brook! What the hell!?” Hyunjin shouted from the window. “We just woke up the kids!” 

“Sorry, Hyunjin.” Brook half-whispered, half-shouted. “Didn’t mean to do it.”

“Thank you!” Hyunjin shouted back sarcastically before closing the window. After that, they heard the children’s cries. 

“Can you open the gate for them, Kim Lip?” Yves pleaded. “I needed to help Hyunjin with the kids.” 

“Go,” Kim Lip signals the headmaster to proceed to her plan. 

Just what Yves said, Kim Lip opens the gate, waiting for the guy who’s name is Brook as far as she remembers. 

Not a minute later, a guy with a nice built, probably a carpenter, entered the gate. "H-hi," he greeted her. Despite the skull tattoos all over her shoulder, he was plastering an innocent smile. 

"Hi." She greeted him. “Uhm, Yves is on the second floor. She’s helping Hyunjin to put the kids back to sleep.”

The guy scratches his head, guilty of what he did earlier. “I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t mean to scare them.”

Kim Lip mirrored his smile. “You don’t need to apologize to me. To Hyunjin and Yves instead.”

“Yeah, you’re right. By the way, are you the sponsor?” 

“Yes, I am. Kim Lip reached out her hand for a shake. “My name’s Kim Jungeun, but call me Kim Lip.”

Brook frowned. He heard that name somewhere. “Mine’s Brook.” He shook her hand. “Brook Vergara. Nice to meet you, Kim Lip.”

“Nice to meet you too.” The brunette was looking beyond Brook since the moment he stepped a foot inside the garden. She was disappointed when his hands were empty. 

“Were you looking for the painting?” Kim Lip nods. “It’s in the back of my car.” He pointed out the direction of the car. Kim Lip followed where he pointed it, then she nodded when she saw where it was parked. “I’m really sorry but I think I need to leave you and ask for the headmaster’s apology.”

“Sure! No need to worry about it. Good luck, by the way.” Kim Lip smiled. “Especially with Hyunjin.”

They walked at different paths after that short conversation. Brook walked inside while Kim Lip was doing the opposite. 

Kim Lip stepped outside, tiptoed, walking towards the back of the car. She saw a woman sitting in the passenger seat. She bowed to her but the woman didn't bow back. She didn't mind. She's too excited to see the painting.

"Whoa," an admiration escaped from her mouth the moment her eyes laid on the painting. This is better than she imagined it to be.

She slowly reached her fingers out onto the painting, she closed her eyes, and was amazed when she felt the texture of the oil paints that were used. Kim Lip continued to touch the painting while closing her eyes. This move and idea was an understatement. This is majestic.

The car opened. "Yves?" A woman called. 

Kim Lip was too busy to experience the majestic idea to bother herself with the woman. Her thoughts were too focused on how wonderful the strokes are. She can definitely distinguish the different colors of the oil paints on the painting as she carefully brushes her fingertips on it. Her imagination expanded as her fingertips proceeded from another color to another color.  _ This idea was really remarkable!  _ She thought.

"Yves?" The car door slammed closed. Kim Lip hears steps coming slowly to her direction. But she still didn’t mind it. She wanted to make the most of what she just discovered now. 

"Hyunjin?" The woman called again. Kim Lip smiled when she felt her heart was fulfilled with such great art that she forgot there was someone inside the car, and the woman was already standing in front of her.

Kim Lip’s heart almost escaped from her body when she saw the woman in front of her, who’s holding the car with her two hands as her guide. 

Kim Lip gasped, covering her mouth with her two hands. She was forced to look the other way when she felt her heart was about to explode. Her eyes were already wet. Not a moment later, she felt her legs become jelly, her body was shaking too. She needed to step back, away from the woman.

Kim Lip’s eyes and cheeks were on fire yet she didn’t matter.  _ How come? _

"I know someone is there. Who is it?" The woman asked when silence was the only thing that welcomed her. She’s sure she heard someone earlier. She didn’t miss the gasps and breathing when she was still inside the car. 

She continued walking forward while swinging her free hand in front of her, hoping she could touch something to make her speculation earlier right.

"Stop playing with me, Yves.” The woman said jokingly. “I bring the painting with me." But silence welcomes her again. She sighed. It must be a cat. 

She turned around to go back inside the car when she bumps something in front of her. The woman jumps from where she was. “Don’t scare me like that, Yves!” She punched the person in front of her. 

But was surprised when a hand suddenly held her. 

“Who’s there?” She attempted to pull her hand away from the grip when she felt the danger. Her mind won’t stop scaring her when all she could hear was the air and silence. However, the grip was getting tighter. It wasn’t hurt, but it still scares the hell out of her. 

Instead of running away, the blind woman mirrored the action. She holds the hand that held hers. She examined it. She brushes her thumbs against the hand’s knuckles. This isn't Yves. This is not her hands. 

She then brings her hand upwards, to the arm, up until the shoulders. She brushes her fingers like she was playing the piano. 

The skin was smooth, she’s sure the person in front of her has fair skin. She’s also sure the person in front of her is a woman. The woman’s collarbones screamed elite. But the blind woman was wondering if she’s rich, why does her hand have so much callus?

She then squeezed the shoulder blades again. “It’s this Hyunji—” she chokes. She quickly took her hand out from the shoulder like she touched a flame. “T-this...is…” she couldn’t speak well when her words stuck in her throat. 

The blind woman covers her mouth with her hands, an action she got from her wife.

_ There is no way another person on Earth has the same shoulder blades as her beloved wife. _

_ There is no way the person she’s longing to meet is standing in front of her.  _

She covered her eyes when her tears were pouring. Damn. She can’t take it. She couldn’t believe it. "There's no way..." she murmured under her breath. 

She doesn't know what to say. She can't find the words either. But there’s only one thing that she wanted to do, and that is to call her name.

“Jungeun?” 

The moment the blind woman called her name like a lost puppy, Kim Lip burst into tears. Her silent cries turned to loud sobs. 

But Kim Lip’s loud sobs are sonata to the blind woman. No other woman on Earth cries the same as Jungeun. Jinsoul had to run her hands through her hair. This is too much. She’s waiting for this day to come but she’s not prepared. 

Kim Lip loves how Jinsoul calls her real name. It’s like a drug to her. And she was praying every single day she could hear Jinsoul call her name again. Even if it’s her dream. She doesn’t care.

But what she doesn’t know, the God she was praying gave her feast instead of a humble dinner. 

Jinsoul was the first one to envelop her arm to the woman she loved the most. Oh God, how much she misses her smell. She puts her face in the crook of Jungeun’s neck like it was meant to be there. “I miss you. I miss you so fucking much.” She cried again. Her hug got tighter as she inhaled Jungeun’s odor. 

"H-how...when...what..." and just like Jinsoul, Jungeun couldn't find the right words to say too. She's happy, that's the truth. 

“Jungeun, I cannot answer three questions at the same time. One at a time.” Jinsoul said jokingly. “But wait,” she holds Jungeun’s shoulders then she leaned backward, but still facing the brunette. “Did you remarry?” 

“What!? No!” 

“Just making sure,” she smiled then embraced Jungeun again. “I can do this all day, you know.” 

" _ Jinsoul, _ " Jungeun finally called her name for the first time after Jinsoul's death. Jungeun brought her arms around Jinsoul’s. "Baby, h-how...how come you’re here?”

" _ How come you're here? _ " Jinsoul repeated. "How come I am in your arms?" 

Jungeun could only afford to nod when she’s at a loss of words again. 

"Stop crying," Jinsoul whispers to Jungeon's ears. "This is not a 'toy story' movie." Jinsoul chuckled. This time, Jungeun punched her shoulder. Jinsoul acted like it hurt a lot. 

Jungeun remembers the time when she cried while watching the toy story movie. Jinsoul teased her for more than a week because of that.

She hates and loves the fact that Jinsoul still has time to joke around. Yet, it brought a smile to her face. 

“Jinsoul?” Jungeun called.

“Hmm?”

“Can you slap me?”

“Huh!? Why would I slap the person I badly want to see?” Jinsoul was as shocked as Jungeun earlier. 

“I wanted to make sure I’m not dreaming.” She explained. Jinsoul laughed but was forced to stop when she heard nothing more from Jungeun after that. “Worst, nightmares.”

Kim Jungeun was serious. She really wanted Jinsoul to slap the hell out of her.

But of course, Jinsoul couldn’t do that. Never in her life she wanted to do that even if it’s only a dare of Jungeun’s death wish. “Are you having nightmares?” 

“That’s an understatement.” Jungeun cupped the taller woman’s face. “What happened to your eyes?” 

Jinsoul holds Jungeun’s hands that held her face. “I’ll tell you when the time comes.” 

Jungeun nodded, only to bring herself back to her beloved’s arms. 

Jinsoul suddenly remembers there’s another person in her life that she pleases to meet again. Those little arms that she wanted to hold again. 

“Honey, is Choerry here with you?”


End file.
